


Guy Fieri vs DCU vol. 1

by StickleUsedSplash



Series: Guy Fieri vs The World [7]
Category: DCU (Comics), Dragon Ball, Evil Dead (Movies), Transformers - All Media Types, WWE 2K (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Post-Crisis (DCU)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 12:26:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15339849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StickleUsedSplash/pseuds/StickleUsedSplash
Summary: In this first installment Guy and the Fearsome Foursome (Formerly the Taco Trio) find themselves stranded in Gotham City. Guy takes a piss and then they fight Batman and Robin.





	Guy Fieri vs DCU vol. 1

**Author's Note:**

> So no one is reading, that's fine. I'll just realize that I'm a self-made genuis! I will address anyone (even the haters) if you just start reading my work. Please, I would love for some feedback. I think what I write is great and I'd love some pointers on howe to right the fan/fiction gonre. Thank you in advanced, and SCREW YOU to all the haters, but that's just a joke feel free to tell me if you love it or hate it; but mostly if you love it and what I can do to get better.

“Ees a nightmare for my mimis!” screamed Rey Mysterio as he looked out the window of the Fieri spaceship. They had been traveling around for some time now, Him and Goku and Ash, all in Guy Fieri the Spaceship.

Goku screamed at Rey Rey, “What’s wrong, my dude?”

“I have had a bad dream about all mi fears, essay.”

“That means we’re close,” yelled Ash from Evil Dead.

Then they landed in Gotham City. Then Guy Fieri turned back into himself. “Woah! After a thousand years stuck in a lamp and I’ve got a really sore back!”

Rey Mysterio laughed, “Jajajajajaja! Thass from mi abuela’s favorite show with the Jeanie!”

Ash scouraged at Rey and Rey cried. 

“We’ve got to figure out where Rey’s bad dream came from!” screamed Guy Fieri.

“Somebody put poisoned the water supply,” screamed Goku!

“You’re right!” yelled Guy Fieri who was dancing and holding in a piss. “Forgot to pee when I was a spaceship.”

“How does that work,” Ash paused for a moment, “exactly?”

“Well,” Guy took in a deep breath, “You see, when I become a spaceship, I’m still sentient, much like the transformers are in their automobile forms, like cars and trucks, or even planes or guns in teh decepticons case, the predacons were dinosaur based for the most part, except in the later seasons, but the maximals took on the form of beasts that we identify as good animals, which is interesting, because they all took on organic life-forms,”

Rey Mysterio smiled, “Which is why it isn’t that big of a deal for a decepticaon to take on a human form in the second movie. They’ve already established that transformers CAN do this, they just don’t want to. Because if you had the choice between being a sweet ass car, a jet plane, or a human, what would you choose?”

“Yes, Rey, yes,” screamed Guy Fieri as tears fell out of his eyes, “So in that form I’m sentient, and still have all the urges of a human cis male.”

Ash chimed in, “Cis, that means you identify as the gender you’re born as.”

“Yes, Ash, yes. Now there are three things that propel a human to stay alive, nutrition, reproduction, and entertainment. Under all three of those are sub-categories.”

“Those are products of those three urges.”

Yes, yes. I actually consume quite a lot of calories when in spaceship form. I don’t eat normal food, as most humans do, though most hunmans don’t turn into spaceshapes! Ami RIGHT!~?”

And they all laughed.

“So I drink the tiny water molecules and eat the tiny atoms that you can’t see in space.”

Goku tossed a sensu bean into his mouth and screamed, “So it’s like you’re a wale or something, right?”

“Yes, Gokun, yes. And then I still have to expel the nutrition that I took in, just like I do in human form.”

Guy Fieri started talking a piss and continued taking to the Fearsome Foursome, “So as you can see, this is what happens after I consume so many calories in spaceshipe form.”

The Fearsome Foursome watched as Guy Fieri took a very long piss. This was accurate becasue I read about it in a book, if we traveled at the speed of aight we would have to either be in suspened animation, like Futureama and Interstellar, or we’d be frozen, so i challenge you to dispute me on this. We all know what it’s like to pee in the morning. Guy finished taking his pee as the Fearome Foursome watched him. Batman walked up to guy and punched him the face.

“No yurinating in public!”

Guy Fieri flew 12.34 feet and slid across the ground. “Ouch! What the heck!?”

“My name is BATMAN! And this is MY CITY!” screamed the man dressed as a bat, “My parents were killed in front of my eyes as a child and I fell throguh a hole and there were a lot of bats!”

Rey Mysterio cried, “You poor theeng.” Rey Mysterio tried to give Batman a hug but Batman punched him away and made Rey go tumbling into the distance, “Rey Mysterio is going away agaaaaaiiiiinnnn.”

Then Goku screamed, “He was my friend!” and went Super Saiyan, “You will pay!”

Batman smiled, “What do you call that? Blonde hair bonanaza?” then went Super Saiyan himself.

Goku powered up and went Ultra Instinct and his hair went blue. “What have you got now?” asked Goku.

Batman cried, “Robins!” And all the Robins from every universe attacked Goku.

Dick Grayson as Nightwing attacked Goku, The Red Hood Jason Todd, Tim Drake Red Robin, Damien Wayne Robin, Carrie Kelly Robin, and the black one, all attacked Goku. Gokue died.

“You killed GOKU!” screamed As from Evil Dead. “I will now Kill YOU!” with a start of his chainsaw and a wave of his arm, all Robins aare now dead. Batman opened his mouth and smiled, he smiled wider than before and laughed, “Ah ha.”

Ash and Guy titlted their heads and stared at Batman as he grew whiter with each noise, “Ah ha, aha. Ahahaha. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.” And Batman became the Joker. “You want to know why I did what I did? Because I got tired of killing Robins and runnignfrom Bat people. Have someone else do it for you, and you can really enjoy the dirty work.” Bat Joker took out a crowbar. “Who’s ready for some croakay?” Then Joker swung at Ash.

Ash raised his chainsaw but the crowbar stopped it from spinning. Ash had dropped his boomsticke earlier and only had his hand so he punched Joker in the face, Joker squirted Ash with an acid flower then pucnhed him with a cartoon-e fist. Joker punched the skin off of Ash’s face revealing eye sockets and bone, Ash was too taken back and couldn’t fight any longer. Bat Joker laughed and laughed as Guy Fieri screamed, “NOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOooooo!”

Guy Fieri was overcome with emotion so he took out a lightsaber and sliced Joker in half. Bat Joker laughed and laughed and laughed and died. The Fearsome Foursome. The Taco Trio. It was all gone. Guy Fieri had nothing left but himself. He didn’t have a clear picture of the future. He didn’t know where he would go from here. But he knew the end was near.

“The time is now,” said Kylo Ren from the distance and force projection, “The time is now and we must face Starfleet as one. Come back into space and we will rule the glaxaxy together.”

“Your wish is my command, my master,” and Darth Insipid flew back into space.


End file.
